


Requiem

by jtav



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 16:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jtav/pseuds/jtav
Summary: After repulsing the Knights of Seiros and killing Alois, Byleth confronts the downside of learning to heal. Edelgard does her best to help.





	Requiem

The last rays of sunlight cast an eerie glow over Garreg Mach's cemetery. Over five hundred had died in the Church's failed attempt to take the monastery. There would be a memorial service in the morning where she, Edelgard, Caspar, and the others would publicly mourn the family and friends who had given their life for the Empire. Which made it vital for Byleth to finish her task tonight. She couldn't grieve for the enemy in public.

_I'll bury you with my own hands._ Alois had been so certain that trying to retake the monastery was what Jeralt would have wanted. Never mind that Byleth had never so much as seen him pray until they had come here. She gritted her teeth. Felix was right after all. People were willing to destroy themselves and everything they loved for honor that did no good to anyone. The only thing she could do was give Alois the same courtesy that he had planned on giving her.

_Jeralt would be ashamed of you. _Byleth clenched her fists. Death had been a part of her life almost as long as she could remember. Her father was a good captain, but casualties were unavoidable. She had stood watching and makeshift memorials for men and women she had served with for years with nothing more than a hollowness in her chest and a vague wish that she was more like normal humans. And then a girl with pale hair had melted the ice in her heart with her talk of a better world and Byleth felt all those emotions she had only read about. Love and amusement… and betrayal and grief.

There was a reason so many fairytales warned you to careful what you wished for.

"I thought I might find you here my teacher." Edelgard had changed from her gown into a dark shirt and trousers that wouldn't have been out of place among the most junior of her officers, the sole concession to her rank being the double-headed eagle emblazoned on the breast. She looked sad and a bit nervous as she took in the rows of tombstones. "I knew my path would be bloody, but knowing something and facing it are entirely different things."

Byleth grit her teeth. She had known too, but had imagined their enemies as pleasantly faceless soldiers of the type she had spent her life dealing with. Not Ignatz, his hands and voice quivering ever so slightly. Not Leonie, who seemed to know her father better than she did. Not Alois, who had tried in his own way to soothe her grief. _Traitor. Demon. _"I don't think there's anything you can have me kill to make myself feel better."

"I suppose not." Her hand ghosted over Byleth's arm. "But I can help you bury the dead."

The pair of them made short work of the burial and Byleth surveyed her handiwork. A large stone was the only marker and she didn't know what words believers said at times like this, but at least Alois was buried beside Jeralt as he would have wanted. Edelgard had dirt under her fingernails and looked as if her mind was somewhere else entirely, but the physical labor and company kept the whispers away from Byleth for a few minutes.

Edelgard bit her lip. Anxious again. "What?" Byleth asked.

"I have been thinking…" she said slowly. "I wanted you by my side on this path so badly that I've been selfish. I've seen too many good men and women fall under the strain of burdens no one should have to bear over the last five years. If you...if you wish to walk away or await me in Enbarr..."

Await Edelgard. Close herself off from the nightmare she had awakened. "Do you want me to go?"

"You know my answer." Edelgard closed her eyes and shuddered. "But when you returned I swore to myself that I would do everything within my power to keep you safe. I'd rather have you absent than wounded."

Her own answer was perhaps easier than it should have been. She wrapped her arms around Edelgard and buried herself in the warmth of her. Embraces still felt strange after a lifetime of neither receiving or wanting them, but her heart steadied at the contact. "I'm not leaving. I'm afraid to."

"Afraid?"

Byleth sighed. She had become so close to her students and so much more than close to Edelgard that sometimes she forgot they didn't know of her life before the Academy. "You know that I was the Ashen Demon. I killed without a thought in the world because it was my job. I cared about my father, but you…you gave me a cause to fight for. And I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"My teacher..."

"Please, let me finish. I saw enough women waiting at their doors for news of their sweethearts that I know that I don't want that to be me. I want to keep feeling things. And I want to keep fighting because I never want another child thrown away because they don't have a Crest. You woke me up, but I want to see this new dawn as much as you do."

Edelgard nuzzled her cheek. "Thank you."

Byleth pulled back. "I'm not up for anything, but can I come to you? I'd rather not sleep alone."

Edelgard gifted her with a small, sad smile. "Always."

The silence of the graveyard seemed heavier now that she was alone again. There was one grave she had avoided even before her disappearance, but it seemed foolish now. She took the ring from her pocket, silver glinting in the dying light. "You told me to give this to the person I wanted to spend my life with. There's only one that it could be. I really do want that new world. Children tortured to death because of Crests? I'd kill to stop that. And I want to spend the rest of my life helping her rebuild." She swallowed. "That's okay, isn't it?"

There was no answer.

Edelgard had reclaimed her old room, and it was much the same as it had been the first time Byleth had been there. Edelgard herself sat in bed, pouring over a stack of reports. Her hair was loose about her shoulders, and her nightgown made her look younger and more vulnerable. Byleth inhaled. Being able to see the dreaded emperor like this always felt like a rare and precious gift. At least here they could be humans.

_Not human. A demon,_ said Alois' voice.

Edelgard looked up. The lines of her face smoothed and she patted the space beside her in silent invitation. Byleth settled against her. The feel and the lingering scent of carnations sometimes threatened to overwhelm her entirely. Byleth forced herself to still. Lying together like this was something ordinary lovers did. She would take all of the ordinary that the world had to give. She would hold Edelgard close and kiss her and make love to her. When the war was over and she knew she wouldn't have to bury Edelgard as well, she would give her that ring and ask to spend the rest of their lives together. Whatever half-existence she had had before Sothis had awoken within her, she had a heart the same as anyone and never mind that it didn't beat. The shadows were only the guilt that anyone would feel.

Perhaps someday she would even believe that.


End file.
